This is my final post in the Saxamaphone journal.

I'm changing over to a new one. Please follow the link below, and remember to add HotBodiedBeggar as a friend if you care to read about my adventures.

HotBodiedBeggar

I guess this means I'm finally a butterfly?

Rules:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.


Yeah, I'm looking a bit hung-over. Perhaps because last night involved a lot of drinking and ended up with this scene:



That's Roshin buried under a pile of random in our kitchen, and our latest roommate Bryon being king of the mountain. Hopefully I can talk myself out of doing this again tonight... try to keep the insanity to one night a week. Nahhhhhh

Small update, cuz I don't feel like writing a whole lot. Here are a couple pics from Virginia.



That statue thing was in the middle of the boardwalk, just hanging out and being giant and muscular. I wish I
A) Was that buff
B) Had a turtle
C) Was trusted with pointy objects in public places



My room had a sliding glass door I could walk out literally into a pool. And then from the pool, it's a short walk to the ocean. Happened to have a rainbow because of the tail end of hurricane something-er-other.

I miss eating such yummy food outside in a gentle breeze. Hope my travel expense reports are approved :P

Here is a post I composed the other night. I will go back to posting Virginia Beach stuff and hopefully pictures next time.


I have always had a problem with initiating things. I see the potential, bask in it even. Case in point: as a child, I would set myself up in my bunk bed (top bunk) with everything I needed to sketch pictures. I had all sorts of pencils, erasers, a nice flat surface, and blank paper. Blank. Unlimited potential. I would stare at it and imagine the possibilities. They were endless and beautiful. I imagined the lines, the curves, eventual shading... but not once did I set the pencil to the paper. Not once.

I am reminded of this because of my social behavior. I see many people I am interested in talking to. I imagine what we would say, where conversation may carry us... but not a word.

Unless someone else breaks that invisible barrier, makes the first mark on the paper that forever sullies and ruins its potential, there will be silence.



On another note, I've been thinking about the caste system lately. Not the one from India, but the typical American stereotypes of Alpha, Beta, and Gamma.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the Beta range, but I can't determine if I'm a Beta trying to struggle my way into Alpha, or a Gamma trying to keep appearing like a Beta. I have a feeling it's the latter. I'm gifted in many ways, but not the basic human ones I'm so focused on: body and conversation.

This is pretty much like saying I lack looks and personality. What does that leave me with?

First day of class began with me nearly stuck in an elevator. Took it down to the basement, where the arrow instead of switching from down to up turned into weird symbol, and the elevator stopped, and I stood there for 3 minutes wondering if I'd be there all day. But pressing the open doors button worked.

I already managed to sunburn myself in a really stupid way. Frownies for that. I don't really know if I'm even going to get more sun this week though...

Learning cool hacking stuff in class. More applicable stuff to come, but it's all neat. I wouldn't have minded working in Ford's CIRT team for a while.

Tonight I had a butterfinger blizzard for dinner. That made no sense. Especially since I could have had something fancy on the corporate card. Meh. I think I was trying to cheer myself up.

I am now in Virginia Beach. My flight was short and sweet. Frank taxied me from Norfolk to my hotel on the waterfront. He was a cool old Navy guy. I can walk out the sliding glass door of my hotel room and fall into the pool. Then if I wander out a gate, I can stumble into the ocean. My choice.

It's beautiful here. Warm but pleasantly breezy, not blindingly sunny, and children here do things like roller skate on the boardwalk and fly kites. The roads remind me of Seattle. In fact, so far the East and West coasts tend to be very alike. We mid-westerners just have it all wrong.

I forgot to bring my camera, but I am snapping some pictures with my phone. I'll post those when I get back to MI, if I can talk myself back onto the plane. Also, Lauren's going away party will have its own entry with pictures eventually.

Off to do another round of ironing, then out for some sort of block party and fireworks and stuff.

Dashboard brings interesting memories... things I block out and try not to think about often. People who can make or break my day. Old emotions that remind me I'm not always such a robot..

Does he ever get the girl?

I am struggling between two main theories on life...

On one hand, I believe it's important to love yourself before you attempt to love another. On the other hand, I believe that if you really put your mind to it you can accomplish pretty much anything. Here's why these conflict:

I'm trying to flatten my stomach, which is about the only place my body stores fat. Let's be honest, I don't have the best DNA for shaping my body the way I would like it to be shaped. The question is, should I just be happy with the way I am? Or should I continue believing that it's possible if only I try hard enough and do the right things?

Do not reply with comments about me being skinny. I am aware that I carry no fat where most people get to see. That disproportionalness is what annoys me most, because I really do have an unusually jiggly tummy for my stature. I will not post pictures unless I somehow accomplish my goal (and they will be behind a cut so those who don't want to see don't have to gouge their eyes out.)

I'm not too unhappy, just hard-working and impatient ^_^

Also, I have the lofty goal of rocking out Peace of Mind on the bass... it's actually coming along.

I played my first ever 18 holes of golf last Friday, for a fundraising thing. The last time I swung a club was at a driving range with Danielle, the Mer, and their mom... probably a good 7 years ago. And then the last time I swung a club before that was probably when I was 9 or 10 swinging at wiffle balls at my grandparents' house.

Roshin had told me I could use his clubs, so the night before the event, I ask where they are. He says in the basement, so I go down there and look under the work bench to find a pile of clubs. No bag. So 9:30 at night, I'm at Meijer buying a golf bag, a glove, tees, balls, etc. It all worked out, and now I have a bag..

I didn't do very well at the event, but did have some nice shots. I'm good with a wedge, decent with a 7 iron, and terrible with a driver. I think I'd enjoy the game a lot if I put some practice into it and didn't feel like a fool trying to pilot a plane with zero experience.

Also, I did not get sunburned. This was unexpected, since I usualy burn through SPF 45 sunblock.

So, I bought a bass guitar and amp last night. Not really sure why. :P It is a useful addition to the house though, since at any time we will have at least one person who plays guitar and one who plays bass. Now we just need a drum set in the basement...

Also, I am kind of sad that I have caught up to the latest 8-bit theatre comic. Yes, I read all 1018 of them in the past year or so. Now I need to pick a new comic, I guess. I just love all things 8-bit, especially Final Fantasy. It'll always have a special place in my heart.

Gym time.

I'm in Seattle at the airport, getting ready to take the red-eye home. Drinking coffee at what is 11:30 EST, since I can't sleep on planes anyway.

A few observations:

1) I'm beginning to think the whole state of Washington is landscaped. It really is well maintained and has a good combination of city and nature. It also helps that the weather has been fantastic here... though the locals beg me to tell everyone it rained the whole time, to discourage more people from moving here.

2) I am a bit unnerved by the lack of midwest chub here. Honestly, 50% of the girls here are equivalent to the top 10% in Michigan. And maybe 1% of the population is obese. I saw 3 fat women in my 3 days here. And they weren't even enormously fat, just rounder in the middle than most. Maybe it's because people here walk and bike and all that. Or maybe they can't afford food because housing costs so much.

3) I need a better phone. One that will allow me to more obsessive-compulsively check email and start twittering and stuff like that.

Life is going to get more and more busy. I think we'll be going through a rotational system of keeping one of us out here in Seattle at all times. And there is so much to do... for several large parts of Sync Gen2, and to support Gen1 v2. This is the "calm" before the storm.

I have leftover Thai food to eat on the plane. I look forward to that if I can find a utensil to eat it with.

I will be a zombie tomorrow :(

Okay, quick post looking for feedback from anyone reading this. I am thinking about the different priorities I have in life, and how I should reorder them. Here are a list of them, in no particular order:

1) Health & fitness
2) Love life
3) Career
4) Social life
5) Fun (most of which involves nerdy things that make me happy)
6) Writing
7) Japanese
8) Guitar

I don't care to come up with the current order, but I'm wondering, how do you think I should rank them? 32145768? 54127684? Leave your opinion in a comment! (also acceptable to give your own ranking, then what ranking you think I should choose.)

I'm playing around with the Spore creature creator demo and making random stuff. Such as:



I also made attempts at Violator from the Spawn comic book series, as well as Trogdor. Close, but not perfect enough for my taste. I think this game is going to be fairly revolutionary in terms of gameplay run by physics and biology concepts. I have to talk myself out of getting it :P

Another update coming when I find time for it, related to life priorities.

I had a week of crazy work hours, flying to Seattle, eating and chatting with presidents and people of power in other companies, staying out late drinking with my own management, etc. Still not really recovered because I haven't let myself sleep a ton.

Came back to a huge list of chores and other drama happening to push me over the edge. Decided I need to make some changes... get back to that state where I love myself and am making progress on my own goals.

I still hope this summer is full of tennis and gymnastics.

Mini panic attack. Not really panic, but mini flood of sorta unhappiness and wishing everyone would just go away for a while.

Many people don't understand what it means to be an introvert. Everybody needs some form of escapism, something that gets them away from work and chores and whatnot. For an extrovert, that's being social; you hang out with your friends and chat and laugh, forgetting the troubles of the day. For an introvert like myself, it's being alone and doing things that make me weirdly happy (mostly nerdy things). Being social is often another type of work for me... it's a responsibility to see your friends every so often and spend time on them instead of the laundry list of tasks that are hanging overhead like an ominous cloud.

This is not to say I don't want to see my friends. I do. But I have enough circles of friends (and one-offs) that I can't possibly see you all several times a week. I put 45 to 55 hours of my week toward working, and I'm covering the span of about 3 people's jobs. I am tired when I get home, but still need to do all sorts of things like laundry, cooking, shopping, cleaning, etc. And then I'm putting a lot of time towards the gym trying to be all healthy-like.

So I'm going kind of crazy. Especially this weekend, when everyone wants me to come to movies and BBQs and dinners and everything. Plus knowing that I just booked a last-minute flight and am headed to Seattle on Tuesday, which will be 3 or 4 16-hour work days most likely.

awoefhao;gnasnegn;as;ogboasigbasjkebgasdjgui;oaevjkbsd

End of my rant. Time to get in the shower. ^_^

I has a re-felted pool table. Just played on it, and it's mostly good. Need a new set of balls. And chalk that matches the new felt.

Spent last weekend in Chicago for an anime convention. It began with being lied to by workers there and standing in a 2 hour line I didn't have to. Then the next day, was in line for 10 hours due to IT problems. I won't go into the details on that. We were all pretty pissed. Rest of the con was good, and I came back with cute souvenirs. I should take pictures. Remind me to do that. Wait, who am I talking to?

I have also built a new room. Goodbye old silly desk that doesn't match my other furniture. Hello nice darker wood desk with doors and rolly things and such. And hello matching bookcase to house my growing collection of books.

I am sort of living day by day, and not being good at making solid plans. Work is incrementally crazy, and the person in our group who shoulders the largest workload is going on vacation for 2 weeks. I am the next most knowledgeable. Not good. It's a long weekend, and I am ill prepared. Sorry to all of you who are trying to get me to go to things, and I mostly just say maybe.

It has been a crazy week. Sunday I talked to some neighbors and learned that they had been experiencing the same acts of vandalism. Work became crazy, so I had to do some additional stuff between 9 and 11 PM on Monday. At 1:30AM Tuesday morning, Roshin hears a *POP* through his open window, and looks out to see the vandal prying Bryon's mirror out. He wakes us up, Bryon yells out his window, and the guy takes off. We're outside until 3AM talking to the police, then up until 5AM talking to each other and trying to get to sleep.

Thursday I'm waiting for Lauren to get here so we can take her out for our 21st birthday, when we spot the guy walking down the street. I call 911, and Roshin calls the detective we talked to directly. Roshin and Bryon do their best to follow him at a distance while on the phone, and I continue talking to the police while heading out in the opposite direction to make sure he can't double back through the elementary school playground and go the direction he usually does.

WE GOT HIM!

They searched his house and found the clothing we described him wearing Tuesday morning, after he claimed he didn't have anything like that. They then interrogated him and I was told he confessed to a bunch of stuff. I After a night of heavy drinking and celebrating in Auburn Hills, I let Lauren sleep in and went to work to meet with ze Germans. I planned to leave at noon and take care of all sorts of stuff, but ze Germans made me promise I would be there in the afternoon... so I just took Lauren to the police station to give a statement in the middle of the day, then returned to work on 3 hours of sleep.

He have a pool table. We will soon restore it to a level of glory it may never have known.

Don't think I've updated in a while, so here goes..

Lately, someone has been vandalizing our property in the middle of the night... tearing up any mail in our mailbox, pulling the mailbox door off, smashing Lauren's driver's side mirror, ... makes me lose more faith in humanity. The police and post office are notified, and supposedly the FBI will visit us due to the federal offenses being committed. Hopefully either the person will just get bored and stop doing it, or get caught and learn the hard way.

In other words, I am changing over from bulking to a 3 or 4 week cut. If I'm grumbly and snappy in the weeks to come, it's because I am not eating all the time anymore, and that makes me sad.

I had to provide my boss with all the dates between now and the end of July that I will be available to be in Germany. Chances are I'll have to spend at least a week or two over there. Somewhat related, I am officially the security lead on the second generation Sync. Exciting stuff!

I forget what I originally came here to write. I've been rather busy lately, but apparently not with anything interesting :P

So here we are again; time for my list of 26 things to do while 26. In no particular order:

1) Grow a beard.
2) Learn to drive a stick.
3) Visit California.
4) Get a tattoo.
5) Attend Movement Detroit.
6) Celebrate Festivus.
7) Finish Genki 2.
8) Two chicks at the same time.
9) Land a Cheat Gainer.
10) Attend a nerd convention.
11) Dye my hair.
12) Throw a silly hat party.
13) Buy a new alarm clock.
14) Floss consistently.
15) Read 5 books.
16) Obtain a flat stomach.
17) Make a footbag video.
18) Visit the east coast.
19) Go on a cruise.
20) Watch 5 Eddie Izzard movies in a day.
21) Learn to drink plain coffee.
22) Buy a piece of furniture.
23) Write 5 chapters.
24) Take a risk.
25) Learn practical hacking skills.
26) Pick something wrong with me and fix it.

Time to go visit the dealership and have my radio put back in. Yay for the end of an eerie week of driving in silence.

Hard to believe that an entire year has passed since I made my list of 25 things to do while 25. At this time last year I was just finishing up a semester at Eastern which was killing me in terms of workload. Let’s see how I did on my goals:

1. Gain 10 pounds (of muscle): SUCCESS. In fact, I gained 20 pounds to a peak of 165. Lost some of it after Christmas, but overall a successful addition of muscle.


2. Memorize, translate, and understand 3 Japanese songs: FAILURE. Not even one.


3. Drink an entire fifth of alcohol in a single day: SUCCESS. See my post just after Christmas where I drank a fifth of Johhny Walker Black Label.


4. Go to Bleu Room: SUCCESS. It was awesome. And even better, Randy got us in for free because his sister runs a nearby club. Yay club courtesy.


5. Visit at least one of the following: Jun, Belinda, Kelly: EPIC FAIL. I have yet to visit any of my long lost friends. In fact, I keep just adding people to this list.


6. Buy & tailor at least one new suit: FAILURE. I ended up talking myself out of it while shopping, though I still do plan on getting a new suit in the near future.


7. Learn at least 3 songs on guitar really well: FAILURE. I did learn Still Alive (from Portal) but among the others I learned throughout the year, I can’t say I really got any of them down to a performable level.


8. Build a ROM box: FAILURE. I keep waiting for smaller form factors and prices to come down. And with a Wii, there’s less incentive to spend money on building this.


9. Go to a footbag event: FAILURE. The way things ended up on the calendar, I had to choose footbag or Lasik. I went with Lasik, and am glad I did.


10. Party in Chicago: SUCCESS. Spent a fantastic 4th of July in Chicago, and went to an awesome techno club.


11. Play a group pen&paper game: QUASI-FAILURE. I sat in a room with people and made character sheets, and did some practice stuff to teach the new people, but it never really got off the ground. I did, however, find some friends to play Magic with.


12. Make at least 2 new friends: SUCCESS. A new girlfriend, new friends to play nerdy games with, etc. I just regret the loss of Greg, though he’s in a better place now. (Florida)


13. Make a footbag video: FAILURE. Never put anything together. I was taking clips in the living room one day when Diane came home though… think I weirded her out :P


14. Pick something wrong with me and fix it: SUCCESS: Got my eyes lasered, and I have wonderful vision now :)


15. Win a poker game/tournament: SUCCESS. I won 3 poker games this year. Nothing like the big tournament I won the previous year though.


16. Write at least 5 chapters: FAILURE. I got slightly over 1.


17. Learn a scripting language: SUCCESS. I learned Python early, and just recently added Lua.


18. Find a new cologne: SUCCESS. Bulgari Notte. I heart it, and so do girls ^_^


19. Read a book by Neil Gaiman: SUCCESS. Good Omens and Stardust.


20. Learn to make at least 5 new tasty mixed drinks: FAILURE. Though I did invent JagerMonster.


21. Win a food-related challenge at a restaurant: FAILURE. I never got to challenge my boss to the giant burrito challenge. I did win a bet to drink 3 liters of water at work though.


22. Go on a roadtrip with a few other people: SUCCESS. Besides going to Chicago, I also went up to Marquette to save my brother from the wilderness. That sort of counts… at least I had someone to talk to on the long drive home, unlike all those other trips to and from school. Oh, I also roadtripped down to Dayton for a weekend and hung out. Total success.


23. Write a song: FAIL. JUST FAIL.


24. Go on a real date: SUCCESS! I met Lauren by taking her to a haunted hayride. It was cute ^_^


25. Obtain a flat stomach: EPIC FAIL. I’m chubby right now due to bulking. After my birthday, I will begin an attempt to cut the fat from around my middle.